i went to airport today...for lunch with sue..i went there too early..so i end up sitting at the chairs while waiting for her...seeing ppl..walking past me with all those luggages...remind me of the fri nite..i send him off myself...with my own hands...i sent him off till the paspport area...its me who let him go...
it was hard to hold back the tears again and again...i saw sumone repacking his luggage...memories came again to me...then i saw sumone who looked like him...only slimmer...i was happy for a while seeing these 2 tings...but i was holding back tears at the same time...it was hard...sumtims i wonder...will it be better if i had met him later on in my life?? then i dont need to go thru this pain in my heart....i really nv expect it to be so hard...i tot i was strong enough...apprently..at times i was not...
i was no longer able to hold my tears when i saw sue..i just break down...guess she also knew it will be hard for me to meet her at airport...thats y she was shocked when i told her to meet at airport....she sat there quietly...letting me cry alone...after i calm down i went to sakae with her...then i went to sch to do sum stuff...little did i expect...sch reminds me of him too...i quickly get out of the sch...then went to tampines to check passbook..man..i saw his shadows everywhere...i cant bear it anymore..i decide to go home abd felt asleep again....
i was tired...i dun feel like doing anyting or even going out with frens...but i told myself to be strong for him and for myself...so i decide to go out at times....i need to carry on with my life...i really hope tings will be better in time to come...i wan to go back beign the cheerful little me once again...for him and myself.....
