woke up this morning and the first ting i did is to check my phone. to see if there are any messages. well... i have. told myself..maybe there is still hope. really do. but i wan to know my position in your heart. told you my decision. and well..your response is different from what i had expected it to be. really. 180 degree different. this once again prove...i dont know you enough. told the gerfrens wat would your response be if i make this decision. but it isnt the response you gave me.
should i be happy of your response? told myself..on one hand. i should be happy because it makes things easy for me. and you have grown up. you really do. but i feel that i no longer know the grown-up you. on the other hand, i feel that my heart is being pierced again. the long story that we had weaved...end up in just seconds. had told myself...if the response is the same as what i had tot it will be...dun need exactly the same. i just need it to be similar...even if just one sentence. just one. thats all i need to reassure my position. do you noe whats that one sentence? everyting will be fine..i tot..as long as i have that one sentence from you.
you may be unhappy when i told you that its just a test. a test to let me noe my position in your heart. willingness to give up just like that...really does tell me alot. you may not like this way of testing...you probably think that it is a groundless basis and its unfair to use this test on you. but at least it gives me the surface level answer in knowing my position.
i hate you for giving up just like that but i respect you for response. maybe thats the best for us. perhaps. i dont know myself. oh well...at this stage there is nothing else i can say..there is no more room for regret. everything has ended. thanks for everything for the memories...good or bad....for the things you had done and taught me and take care of yourself. i wish you all the best in everything you do.
whoever read this. the gerfrens or the best frens. wait a few days before you ask me why i did this. becoz i also dunno. and yes..i dont wan my tears to flow in front of anyone.
