today nothing special except a stupid accounting test and yes. i need to change my specs. i actually see 5 as 2. how great. ok dun tink about it already.
its the last day of the month, i shall close the month with 2 long long entries dedicated to 2 diff people. ok here goes.
tml is a very special day for both my gerfren and boyfren. can u guys believe it? i am having my anniversary at the same day with my gerfren bdae! how cool.... hahah.
ok...first post is to to the gerfren. see i so nice..dedicate a post for u at midnite. anyway this shameless gerfren of mine called yolanda tan is so shameless that she told us to dedicate a post for her tonite, must wish her happy bdae by 12 midnite, and yeah told us to get a specifoc present and she even told us the price! how great! oh yah...and to top that she sez we must make her cry of happiness tml. see...how many tings she wan.
BUT she is worth it man...she does. hehe...she brought liveliness to our life man. with her constant laughter and stupid and horny jokes. hahaha. being bitchy is already part of her and i am loving it. hahaa. and irritant she can be..i swear u noe she is the only one that can be irritating but yet cute to be around with (i can't believe i just sez she is cute) as mad as she is till i wonder why we are frens with her, we are still loving it around her.
as mad as you, we still love u
as bitchy as you, we like the bitchness
as cute as you can be, yet not innocent. (hahah)
as irritating as you, you are still fun
as weird as you, we still find u sane
as pervert as you, we still wan you
as strong as you can be, we still wan to be your shoulder to lean on
as cheery as you, we still wan to see the sad you
as shameless as you, we noe it.
bottoms line is: WE LOVE YOU NO MATTER WAT
i dunno how to describe the feeling u gave, basically i will describe it with your fav line. With frens like you, i dun need enemy! u are both the angel and devil to me. see how cool. multi purpose. hahaha. see wat can i do without you. nothing. u lived up my poly life. i noe you are goign thru sum hard patches now. and i wish u all the best.
you are 19 now babe...older than me le. so with a new age, you get more matured and prettier and you will do everyting smoothly from now one. so yeah. HAPPY 19TH BIRTHDAY!!! *grins* *grins* are u touched? hahaha. i wanted to put pictures...but this comp dun have. paiseh. hehe...
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ok...next is my piggie turn. hehe. for those who cant stand mushy mushy ting...dun continue reading. hahaha. like real.
lets start. happy 2 year anniversary to my piggie eric tay. hehe. this one year is full of ups and downs for the both of us. from fighting --- crying----spite each other----even to the stage of almost separate. this year feel like a year full of trails for both of us. i am glad we are still together trying to mend any cracks that has been created.
i wan to thank you for everyting that u did for me. giving in to me and stuff. although i do hate u for sum tings that u did but yeah still tinka bout it..ur good deeds are more than your bad ones..so yeah forget it. hehehe.
without you, i wont experience love
without you, i wont experience care and concern
without you, i wont noe wats jealousy
without you, i wont noe the feeling of insecurity
without you, i wont noe the word sensitive
without you, i wont noe the feeling of loneliness
without you, i wont be who i am today
to simplify, with you, i experience the spices of life too.
i dun regret not going to JC becoz i noe if i had gone there, i wunt meet you and i wunt have such a nice piggie with me. ehehe...so yeah..JC and you..can lah. haha. i love u piggie so dun ever doubt it.
i rmb when we first started out, tings are weird becoz u and i are such a diff individuals and i am really really glad that we can last till now and many more years to go i hope. I hate fighting with you as it breaks my heart and i believe it goes the same to u. so one of my wish this year is...lets not fight that often anymore this year although fights spice up the relationship. hehehe.
second wish is for you to graduate faster so that you will be in singapore 365 days heheh....so that i can see u. hehe..
third wish is the most impt one! i wish that there are many many many more years to this anniversary!! *pray pray*
and piggie ar...try not to be so think too much ok...and dun force yourself. i am not exactly that demandin you noe...dun make it sound as if i am so demanding like dat. hehe. ruin ppl rep only leh you. oh yeah...one more ting i love about my piggie here is that...although tml us our anniversary, but i still got class...so cant celebrate properly...but he still understands. thanks for you understanding piggie. *muacks*
♥
Friday, July 28, 2006
12:34 AM
Sometimes it really amaze me on how something simple can become into such big matter that will affect your emotions and stuff. I told myself...its okay it will blow over like it has always been. seriously, it is easily said that done...thats like so true.
things have changed between us...thats for sure, there is no denial. i mentioned it before and i will say it again. slowly but surely...i cant seem to know what u are thinking already neither do i noe who are you. Are you turning into someone that i dunno overtime and due to environment and stuff or is it that you are slowly revealing the true you.... I hope that its the latter where at least i will be able to adapt to it at least i noe its still you, you who i know deep down.
it seems that both of us has reached our limits. everything i say seems to sound like a nagging, complaining, irritating stuff to you. If you feel you are already perfect. then maybe its true. mostl likely is i am not perfect. i am sorry i cant be your perfect gerfren.. maybe i am not even in the acceptable standard.
i told you before again and again. we have different thinking and u brushed it off. Now, i feel it even more. it seems that I am the bad one here. You did everyting for me and i just dun appreciate it. you say u did your best already....am i not doing the same? I DO appreciate for you have done for me but that doesnt mean you can use that against me. Being nice to me doesnt me you can do anyting your way. I have my moods swings also. I have my own problems too. maybe what the cab uncle sez its true. u deserve better.
If you say everyting u did i will always have tings to complain about. like wat? you are the one who tell me to tell u if i feel that u did sumting wrg, i need to tell u. so i did. and then wat happen? you are being defensive and u admit you ARE defensive. then wats the point of me telling you if we will end up fighting. may as well i zip up rite. and of cse i will only sez it when i tot of it. its not the first time you noe me don't you.
to others we seem to have the perfect relationship. how true is that? can they see the little cracks that we have?
you say i didnt give it to you. are u sure? wat u dun like i also didnt do it anymore. have u realised this?
your parents now my existence and you can have an open relationship with me withour having to worry about your parents.
how about me? each time my family ask me...i have to grit my teeth and lie to them. maybe you find that this is nothing. zero value as it doesnt admit your existence. my family enter my life before you and i have to do that to them? maybe all of u wunt understand this maybe its no big deal but my family has always been everyting to me. EVERYTING.
you probably will sez that i can always tell them. but do u noe why i dun? wat will happen if i tell them now? they will definitely ask me to break up and when that happen i noe i will not be able to say no to them? do u wan that to happen? if u wan...i can do it.. i promise you in 2.5 years. so i BEG please dun rush me again.
If you feel that you do so many tings and you are not getting anyting back for them...then i would rather you dun do anyting. I am the same as my father..i dun like it when u did sumting and always bring it up again.
if u expect a relationship to be like a business transactions. if you invest $100 you MUST get back $100 from the other party. is that even love? when i do things for you...i nv expect anyting back. NEVER. but in your case, you do.
i will sez it once again. if you feel that i am not good enough for you, treat you like shit, unreasonable and being petty. YOU DECIDE wat to do. i am tired. i am REALLY REALLy tired. watever i do for u also nv seems enough and u always demand more. i am really tired...u sez u have flow many tears for me. am i not? that nite.when i was making my way to your place...my heart breaks i tell u. it really breaks and i am really really tired already. i already did my best. If you can find better ger.fine. go ahead. i give up. i am already at the brink already.
♥
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
12:36 AM
long time nv blog. so sian. like nothing much to blog eh...
was just telling kinah and yoda that i have not been feeling quite myself and yeah..hate myself..i feel like just dig a very deep hole and stay there forever and ever and nv comes out again. so yeah...i also dunno why eh...just hate myself!
anyway...i suddenly fee like talking about cabs. ever since the increment of the surcharge, i really tink that now hor....like gets worse....last time u can nv find cabs just before peak hour..or during the peak hour itself. now....during the non-peak hour also u cant find man!! and peak hour got alot! and hor...sum cab drivers are just so horrible. that time me and eric wanted to go to lavender...then we decided to take cab..this jian looking uncle...sez that ECP jam. hello??? its 9.20 am! ECP jam wat???! so he was like why dun i dropped u guys ar bedok mrt instead then u two take mrt lah. so he ask ok?? then i just sez..ECP jam? at this time? then he asked me to choose..i was like...ok..fine anyting...then i just sez nvm lah try ECP. then we was like. " fine! anyting dun blame me" kind of ting. then eric saw the damn attitude and jus sez nvm...dropped us at bedok.
damn that uncle man... he just wan to earn the bloddy $2 surcharge.
ok....tired already. tml got 9 o'clocl class.. shall go and slp now. i miss the old me..where are u??? come back soon ok!
ps: kinah happy? hahah
♥
Thursday, July 20, 2006
11:57 PM
this update is dedicated to kinah since she has been bugging me to update. hehe. alrite..finally! today we finally went shopping.. went to town..while waiting for kinah..me, yoda and yy went to eat buffet at suki sushi. seriously...the sushi buffet there more worth it. we ate ike pigs. bye bye sakae buffet and hello suki buffet! hahaha.
had a great time shopping with ther gerz although with limited budget. although eric sez he can pay but feel bad lah better dun. hehe..so end up paying. this is wat i bought:
- one maleurban top- - one boxers from topshop for myself- -one panty for my sis- - one tie for my pig- -one cuff tingy for my pig- and thats all..hehe..thanks the gerz for helping. hehe. and kinah and yoda also got nice top and udergarments also. hehe..i noe wat they are going to wear already tml...*grins*
was happily shopping then sumting happen gotta go back first and leave the gerz behind..haiz...i hope that we can go out shopping again, as long as i have more funds. hehe...
anyway...was glad i talk things out instead of keeping it..if not ar...it would spoil the relationship. thanks babe. alrite..off to slp. after tml..i have no more project! yay!
♥
Wednesday, July 12, 2006
10:00 PM
yo! long time nv blog le...i miss blogging man..really...hehehe. ok..update on my life. last week..i dun have internet connection since i am finally not using pacnet anymore! yay! now i am using singtel. hehe. its better and its not so lag loh. even the wireless is good. anyway...thats y i have not been online or update and al of u tot i went MIA. ehehe...miss me rite? see the importance of santi robin le. waahahha.
anyway...school has been a drag. and seriously...this world is s damn unfair...the slack ones get the good places...the hardwoking ones...either get sum weird weird places or average ones loh. oh well...thats how life goes.
its another bleak period for one of the gerz....i dun noe how to cheer ppl up at times like this becoz i noe no matter wat i sez...i wunt be able to help much coz i cant sez i understand the feeling becoz it will be a lie. i dun understand that feeling. lets just sez...i understand the feeling of being separated for a period but not forever. so...yeah....i will always sez this....if its meant to be then it will be..if not...it will nv be. be strong and noe that we will be there for u. think positive yeah!
sch is going to end in...1.5 mth...damn sad loh....i tink i wont be allowed to go to the study trip again man....damn sad. haiz....guess i am not lucky enough to be able to go for my last study trip in poly. sian!
