Sometimes it really amaze me on how something simple can become into such big matter that will affect your emotions and stuff. I told myself...its okay it will blow over like it has always been. seriously, it is easily said that done...thats like so true.
things have changed between us...thats for sure, there is no denial. i mentioned it before and i will say it again. slowly but surely...i cant seem to know what u are thinking already neither do i noe who are you. Are you turning into someone that i dunno overtime and due to environment and stuff or is it that you are slowly revealing the true you.... I hope that its the latter where at least i will be able to adapt to it at least i noe its still you, you who i know deep down.
it seems that both of us has reached our limits. everything i say seems to sound like a nagging, complaining, irritating stuff to you. If you feel you are already perfect. then maybe its true. mostl likely is i am not perfect. i am sorry i cant be your perfect gerfren.. maybe i am not even in the acceptable standard.
i told you before again and again. we have different thinking and u brushed it off. Now, i feel it even more. it seems that I am the bad one here. You did everyting for me and i just dun appreciate it. you say u did your best already....am i not doing the same? I DO appreciate for you have done for me but that doesnt mean you can use that against me. Being nice to me doesnt me you can do anyting your way. I have my moods swings also. I have my own problems too. maybe what the cab uncle sez its true. u deserve better.
If you say everyting u did i will always have tings to complain about. like wat? you are the one who tell me to tell u if i feel that u did sumting wrg, i need to tell u. so i did. and then wat happen? you are being defensive and u admit you ARE defensive. then wats the point of me telling you if we will end up fighting. may as well i zip up rite. and of cse i will only sez it when i tot of it. its not the first time you noe me don't you.
to others we seem to have the perfect relationship. how true is that? can they see the little cracks that we have?
you say i didnt give it to you. are u sure? wat u dun like i also didnt do it anymore. have u realised this?
your parents now my existence and you can have an open relationship with me withour having to worry about your parents.
how about me? each time my family ask me...i have to grit my teeth and lie to them. maybe you find that this is nothing. zero value as it doesnt admit your existence. my family enter my life before you and i have to do that to them? maybe all of u wunt understand this maybe its no big deal but my family has always been everyting to me. EVERYTING.
you probably will sez that i can always tell them. but do u noe why i dun? wat will happen if i tell them now? they will definitely ask me to break up and when that happen i noe i will not be able to say no to them? do u wan that to happen? if u wan...i can do it.. i promise you in 2.5 years. so i BEG please dun rush me again.
If you feel that you do so many tings and you are not getting anyting back for them...then i would rather you dun do anyting. I am the same as my father..i dun like it when u did sumting and always bring it up again.
if u expect a relationship to be like a business transactions. if you invest $100 you MUST get back $100 from the other party. is that even love? when i do things for you...i nv expect anyting back. NEVER. but in your case, you do.
i will sez it once again. if you feel that i am not good enough for you, treat you like shit, unreasonable and being petty. YOU DECIDE wat to do. i am tired. i am REALLY REALLy tired. watever i do for u also nv seems enough and u always demand more. i am really tired...u sez u have flow many tears for me. am i not? that nite.when i was making my way to your place...my heart breaks i tell u. it really breaks and i am really really tired already. i already did my best. If you can find better ger.fine. go ahead. i give up. i am already at the brink already.
