i am originally feeling nervous about starting SIP tml..but now..seriously i dun even noe wat i am feeling. sometimes i really really want to believe that i can depend on others but oh well..at times u really cant. u can onlu depend on urself most often. my father once sez this to me..."you will feel much more relieved and happier if you spend ur own money compared to when to spend others' money" nowsadays i really feel that could be true.
i may feeling guilty if i spend too much of my own money and feel bad but i dun feel pressured directly or indirectly. you may not mean it but i DO feel uncomfortable and pressured. i was happy but i am not. who can in this situation? i already promised you to do sumting about it..and try to understand. but repetition of the same subject is not going to make things better and make u or me happy. in fact it made is worse.
not to worry it not to do it at all. thats fine by me. just tell me. i dun like it when i do sumting that sumone doesnt like...but instead of stopping me, the person lets me just do it. and then after sumting crops up..then start to talk about it again and again. i would rather from beginning...just dun let me do it.
thats all. and damn it. i dun tink i will get a good nite slp. oh well..i may as well fail SIP. good night.
Before i start to blog i have to say, i am so very proud of myself coz i am like so good at multitasking..i am like...blogging..on the phone watch tv and watch youtube at the same time. haha..cool rite. ok...here is an update on my life.
met up with socks, teong and xiuxian on...thursday over lunch. xx is going to shanghai for 4 minths for attachment. thus the meeting up. it has been such a long time since we met up..so we were like trying to catch up alot alot within that few hours time. yeah. then xx had to leave first. the rest of us went to catch a movie. then we went home loh. as boring as it may sound...but that day was a great day for me...free and easy and stuff. we were enjoying ourselves thoroughly. so much has changed in our life since sec sch...and although i miss the old times...it was great to noe that all of us are living happily and healthily now. oh well...we wouldnt have tot that the current us when we were in sec sch. hehe.
alrite...on wednesday was supposed to be a shopping day with yoda and kinah. but we were too tired to shop..so end up walk walk only...then went home already. first time we like rejecting shopping. can u believe it.
then comes friday. went shopping with eric tay. he is supposed to spons me...hehe...went around town...and i only managed to get one top and skirt. sad rite...so i need to do summore shopping. then at nite since we were at suntec...we tot meet yy for dinner..turns out berg came and piecked her up..so end up we 4 eat dinner.
went to some hawker centre to eat...then yy and berg like ordered so much food...so we ate like pigs. then yeah...berg just sent all of us home loh. i felt bad disturbing them. haiz..
so as for yesterday..i just worked whole day loh. ok..i am super tired. i shall slp. and i feel bad for the girls today that i cant make it. haiz..dun hate me alrite. hehe
♥
Sunday, September 03, 2006
1:22 PM
so much things have happened over these few days. i wanted to blog about it but i dunno how to phrase my words. i am one that is not very good with consoling words and stuff. i cant sez i noe how u are feeling as it will be a lie but it does hurt me if things will affect you until you urself doesnt even noe wat are u doing.
One thing for sure though...things will no longer be the same. u may feel a loss now but if it is for the better..why not take the chance. wat is meant to be will be in the end. Time may not heal but i does help to soothen the sucky feeling.
I feel helpless...two of my closest gerfrens are experienced the same thing...yet i cant do anyting for them. it is just like that time when socks are going thru the same thing..i feel the exact helplessness of not being able to do anyting for my frens when i noe they are hurting...and crying deep within.
they appears strong but they actually arent. all i can do is just to sit there and look at them in pain. how sucky.
frens...if there is anyting i can do for you. do tell.
on the other sad note...i wont be able to mee my piggie often nowsaday due to unforeseen cicumstances. so yeah. arent sad. he is leaving soon btw.
ok..kinah-chan. i have cleaned up all the webs rite. lol.
