i am back! hahaha. anyone miss me?
dun tink so lah..since u guys are probably enjoying xmas. which is a good ting. hehe.
as for me.been busy working lah and since dun hav internet..i am too lazy to do any work. so yeah...i need to start doing my adv civ pro and TWP already!
and guys..i have moved house ok. i no longer stay at costa del sol alrite. so yeah...dun go there looking for me. ehehe. the first ting that i did was to look around for blogs and update myself with my frens' lives since i did not go on msn much and dun really get to tok to my frens are either they are busy, away or i am busy. hehe.
i realised sumting though...this thing has been in my heart fro quite sumtime and i am starting to feel uncomfortable with it. call me insecure but i just got to let this out. was reading around then i notice that things may have changed really. i am quite unsure rite now whether or not i am still being regarded as fren or prob just ex-fren but have to still hang around coz will feel bad is just left a fren like dat.
sumtimes i dun wan to let my imagination run wild but i cant help me. at times i do feel weird and insecure. its as if my existence there are meaningless and a bother. its not only couples drift apart. frens do too. maybe thats wats happening. i tried to not drift apart but there is always tis wall that separate me. a wall that i was not allowed to pass. i asked myself..wat did i do wrong? i cant tink of any. if there is kindly tell me instead of leaving me feeling weird and unwanted. i appreciate all my frens and will do anyting within my ability to help whenever possible. maybe i will prob be marked "liar" if i sez i will do anyting for my frens but i do and i will do it if its possible.
however, as a human i am selfish by nature. i need to be appreciated too. i dun like to be taken for granted and i am quite sure noone like to be taken for granted or even feeling unwanted. i have said it before and i will say it again now. i wouldnt noe wat problems anybody have till they tell me wats going on.
i will be lying if i sez "oh...its okay. dun need to tell me anyting. i noe wats troubling you" i am no God or angel u noe. i cant read anyone's mind. if i was not told how would i noe. it takes two to clap thats wat i believe. i have got ears to lend but i got nothing to hear.
i may be busy but if u need my help why wouldnt i help u if i can? i am busy not becoz i am out with other frens i am busy with work and its not like i choose to be busy with work. sumtimes my efforts to get tings back to normal are always dismiss as not necessary or its okay...no matter how hard u try things still cant change.
sometimes..i worry for my frens whenever i cant get them. will be thinking is everyting alrite? havnt heard from my frens for sutmimes..u noe why i am like this. i have lost a dear fren once becoz i did not tink of it too much when i cant get my fren. thinking its alrite..prob had too much fun till cant pick up phone. and u noe wat. the next day this fren was found to be kidnapped and found dead in a week time.
i am not kidding when i ask u guys whether u guys are alrite..maybe this kind of gesture is deemed unnecessary and called hypocrite but its just me.
was reflecting on my life these few days and i find that i have screwed up my life worrying for stuff that are prob tot as unnecessary. maybe i should just ignore anyting and just smile and laugh as per normal. i am getting quite emo now. so yeah...shall stop here coz my ranting is never ending. so till then...i shall keep tinking about my life and see wat i can do to change my life or maybe improve tings.
till then dear frens...take care of urself. and dun tink too much into this post. i am just blardy emo tonite.
♥
Friday, December 08, 2006
11:31 PM
i am supposed to do my SIP report rite now coz it is going to be submitted on the 15 dec and i have not done anyting yet..oh wait...maybe i had done it yeah...the "purpose" and its like a 4 liners. hahaha. i wanted to continue but i lost the very important note and i need to get the note from ms brenda ng before i can continue so yeah (not excuses ok) i decided to blog and go to slp after this. becoz u noe why???
blardy TP expect me, santi robin, to reach sch at ungodly hours 7.15 am! just for napfa test which i tink i will fail anyway..BUT BUT BUT...i got motivation as long as i am not behind certain ppl...i will be so so happy even if i am second last. hahah. so yeah...i will not complain about going to sch to early coz there are alot alot more ppl who stay far far far away from sch. so its not so bad for me actually.
my legs are aching now....so yeah...dun tink i will run tml...just do fast walking. hah. last nite went to jog at kinah's hse there with kinah and nick and as expected...i was totally last. haha. but i felt bad though..like burden to kinah like dat. coz whenever i stopped she has to stop coz scared i dunno the way. thanks babe.
BUT it sure feel good to jog. despite the aching, it really feel good. i felt refreshed and more awake although tired. maybe i should take up jogging. hahaha. oh well...i will as long as i am able to coordinate my legs with my determination to take up jogging.
and yes! i kind of know how to blade now. haha..but i have to go slow.....REAL slow....and NO NO humps. hahha. without that i will be fine and yes..i will never go back that shop again. coz..they anyhow give shoe size de...when i sez too tight they keep insisting that its meant to be tight! so i end up with blisters on my toes coz too tight. will post the pictures reall soon. hehe..
alrite. i am off to slp. good nite pple! btw..eric tay my piggie is back! hahah,
♥
Monday, December 04, 2006
11:24 PM
hello people. i am back with the latest post again. anyway..some news. i am moving house again. hahaha...arent is cool. so yeah...will be damn busy with packing the stuff and i swear i didnt realise that our store room has so much rubbish!
went thru sum of the papers and i realised some of the are my sec 1 and 2 D&T portfolio! and yes suraiyah! if u are reading this...ur project on sum stupid wood car is part of the stack of papers that i found. i am going to give u 3 days to reply back to claim the item or i will throw is away! wahahahahha. i noe i am evil and she noes it. so its okay. come to think of it she seems to have been MIA for quite sumtime...too busy with lovelife? hm....maybe.
it was fun going thru the stuff though..really brings back memories and i realised that i have grown up quite abit since sec sch. i found some of my journals that mdm adibah asked us to write everyday...was reading it and was laughing like mad. cant believe some of the tings that i actually write..so naive and innocent (not that i am not. its just lesser. hey..u will be too if you been thru wat i had) it shows that everyone really grow up afterall whether u like it or not.
then saw the damn damn thick files of maths that i did! was thinking maybe i should keep it as memories...but the papers are turning yellow (dun u dare coz low quality paper!) hhaha so i decide to throw it away. afterall...memories are kept in ur heart not hardcopy.
and eric tay. i found the wood rabbit and pig! ahahahah....its in the cabinet that my mom put away in the store room. dun worry its in perfect condition! hahaha.
oh yeah...since last fri my parents are here and they just went back today,which is damn sian lah. how i wish they can just retire and just come here and stay for good. its impossible now coz i havtn graduated yet...which is like..make me want to graduate fastly.
anyway...this is so not related...but come to think of it...i shall get married only at the age of 30 hahahaha...see ar..graduate at 25....then my parents come...if i get married straight away...that would mean i cant stay with my family as a child rite? so yeah...maybe wait for a few years then get married....28 maybe? hahahah.
