i was working today and i encounter sumting that set me tinking...i have really changed alot..in terms of my manners...behaviour...and thingking...i must sez this though..its not all change for the better.
i was so ashamed of myself after the encounter..it really felt like...as if God is sending me message and a little sound in my heart sez this. "santi...what have u been doing? look at urself now...who are u becoming into? is this who u wan urself to be?"
i swear u noe...i almost cry on the spot there and then. cry coz i feel shameful not sad. i thought about it on my way back home too. its a long walk home...but its really very reflective. anyway...i will not tok bout wat happen that set me tinking...but i will just sez its a good ting that it happens. if not..i wunt noe what has become of me.
i tell myself that i will change..i dun wan the same thing to repeat again. i wan to go back to me--3 years ago. omg...everytime i tink bout wat happen...i really wan to cry...its damn fucking....bad.
♥
Thursday, February 01, 2007
1:07 AM
i dont noe wat had happened. i tried to tink for possible answers but i failed.
so i tell myself...maybe i should stop torturing myself and just dun look at it.
if i dun look at it...i wunt feel the pain.
i blame my itchy fingers to go and look.
its time to shut down santi robin. it really time. why are u torturing urself?
forget about it and just live.
alrite. life is still as busy as ever with sch and work...things were going quite ok till now. i had good news and was feeling happy and stuff. but now i dont. oh well..its just oen of those...all well in the morning but the day didnt end well..
ok..good nite ppl. hehe.
